It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He keeps bees of course he's weird
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize