dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Also, beer. Big fan.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
My ass is underappreciated
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