Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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