at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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