Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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