In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
