At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
