i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
