You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
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