no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
