she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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