who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
