You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
