fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
