apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
