Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
