Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
