he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
