So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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