Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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