My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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