p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
