There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
