That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Randomize
