sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I just made out with a guy for $7.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
