YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Randomize