i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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