You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
