you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
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I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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