He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
