it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
try to milk me bitch
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
