I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
this boner is exhausting
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
