he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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