I love black thongs
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
