every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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