got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize