Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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