This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
