I bet he comes in French.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
