he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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