Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Randomize
