Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
vagina is talking i cant
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
