And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
He shit in the fireplace
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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