i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Randomize
