Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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