Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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