God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
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My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
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Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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