Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
