Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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