no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
