I accidentally had phone sex last night
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
