This girl is more easily done than said...
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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