Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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