not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Randomize
