last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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