somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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