What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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