I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
