Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
