Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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