Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Randomize
