last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
