He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
