ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Randomize
