Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Randomize
